Tippy Tinkletrousers (Nick Kroll)
por Richard SmartAs known as, Professor Poopypants from "Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie".
"Oh, and hello to you, too. I was just, like, admiring the view... from your broken window. It's in the shape of a man. Anyway, I am here to interview for the science teacher position."
"Now, where did I put that resume? No, not that. Oh, this thing. This one's fun."
"Yeah, that's basically what I've been up to... so here I am! Applying for a job in the thriving public school system... with all of its amazing resources. But honestly, kids are so understanding. So innocent. Their smiles brighten my heart and fill me with... a joy-adjacent feeling. As long as they are controlled... and do not laugh nor smile nor play nor laugh. Children must never laugh!"
"Hiya, class. I'm your cool, new teacher. Not some scary guy with a secret evil agenda. Anyway, I'm just going to dive right in here. If there was one thing about this world that you could change... what would it be?"
"Principal's office, now! You too!"
"Because your friendship and shared sense of humor irritates me and must be destroyed!"
"Why are you laughing? I've invented a shrinking and enlarging ray! I should be famous! I should be dating models twice my size... and doing the talk show circuit! I should be protecting baby seals as a cause... that I say I care about, but not really!"
"Wait, wait, wait. Gimme that. That's no Anti-Humor Boy. That's the suck up from class. Very interesting. You boys don't even realize it, but your silly comic book just helped me figure out how to wipe out laughter on the en..."
"So George and Harold want a supervillain... well, ask and ye shall receive!"
"Students and faculty of Jerome Horwitz Elementary... ...the world, as you know it, is about to go extinct. And a new world order is about to rise! One that is, you know, honestly pretty similar to the old-world order... except for one tiny detail... Powered by Melvin's unique neurology, I will successfully disable the Hahaguffawchuckleamalus of every single child at Jerome Horwitz Elementary. For I, Professor Poopypants!"
"Yeah, those are all really silly names, but there's nothing funny about Professor Pee-Pee Diarrheastein Poopypants Esquire!"
"Oh, really, Oprah? Is that my problem? Well, your problem is this!"
"Oh, I hope you enjoyed your years of laughter and merriment... because they're about to come to an end."
"AAH! It can't be! Their Hahaguffawchuckleamaluses, they're enormous! I need more power."
"Anything strike you as funny now?"
"Haha. One down, und one to go."
"Attention everyone! Poopypants here with a little update on the Poopageddon. Due to the success of my plan thus far... I've decided to wipe out laughter on the entire planet. After that, you know, I'll probably move on to other planets... Jupiter, Mars... can't forget Uranus!"
"Yeah, and once I'm through with the gas giants, I figure I'll go after the other galaxies... WHAT?!"
"Oh, we'll see who's laughing once I shrink you down here you will live in my pocket forever, amongst my cherry-flavored lip balm, my butterscotch-flavored lip balm, my mint-flavored lip balm, my extra-moisturized SPF lip balm, and all of my lip balms!"
"Ugh! Alas! The final failure for Professor Poopypants."
